Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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