Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have tasted many bathrooms
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