I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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