i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize