were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
