You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
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Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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