My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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