i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This is the high leading the old right now
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
