The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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