Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
