I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I love you. Go after that dick
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
