I love black thongs
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
