I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize