Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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