I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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