He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
