I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
