I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
