Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Randomize
