Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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