and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sext me about skeletons
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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