North Korea, Best Korea!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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