You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
