i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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