I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
