alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
