Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
