Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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