Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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