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I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
