your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
