It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
