Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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