foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
