remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
