Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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