He kissed a someone with a penis
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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