does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
