He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize