I can't watch pbs sober anymore
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
