Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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