That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
