How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
