I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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