Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize