theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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