How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
