we have officially lost it.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying