What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
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spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
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hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.