Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.