Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
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I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.