we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
