They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
