I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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