I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
