only you would photoshop your dick
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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