RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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