brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
