me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just had sex on a roof
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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