I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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