Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
