she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
