i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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