i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Actions speak louder than pants.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
