Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.