Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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