Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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