if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
